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On Being Present

July 5, 2012

I have been meditating to music and guided meditations. It’s not on a schedule, and I believe I would benefit from such a practice. Yet there are so many distractions: great interviews to listen to, funny videos to watch, fantastic books to read. Seems I haven’t found the magic ticket that draws me to meditation like a moth to a flame.

I’ve given myself wiggle room with this, which helps a great deal with feeling obligated. I also know that if I really want to meditate on a daily basis, I will find something that works for me. I’d like to come to that space where all is well and my mind is still and at peace. So that it’s familiar enough to enter at any time. Especially during stress, yo.

Re-enter Eckhart Tolle and A New Earth webclass with Oprah. The 1st thing I notice is that Ekchart is actually animated. When I watched this class during its debut, I thought he was a bit muted. That observation is outdated and incorrect. What I see now is a thoughtful, intelligent, tuned-in being who chooses their words carefully in order to be accurate and succinct. I also see laughter in his eyes more often than not.

And then we began the noticing of our breath. It seems I am a control freak about this function that is perfectly able to take care of itself, because when I start paying attention to my breath, it becomes hard to breathe!   Too shallow, not enough oxygen, not rhythmic.

Seriously??? I can’t let myself BREATHE???

Wow do I need to learn to let go!

Not surprisingly, anesthesia has never worked well on me. I need 2-3x the dosage for my body size, and then I wake up in ½ the time I am supposed to be out. (I really wish I had some footage of the last OR nurses hee hee)

I tried listening to the clock ticking next time, and that worked rather well. I’m considering getting either a lava lamp (stop laughing!) or a wave thingy-thing.   You know those things that have the blue liquid in a tube on a rocker and when it rocks it resembles ocean waves? Yeah, that thing. I know for sure that when I go to the ocean I can sit for HOURS watching the waves. After about 15 minutes, there are no thoughts any more.  This also happens when I watch the Stingrays for any amount of time. Great for mini-meditations, but I am still at work. Stingray Bay is not to be fitting in this house, let alone my car, so bringing them home is not an option, nyuk nyuk

How marvelous! The class discussion hasn’t started yet, and I am having issues. I am not being sarcastic – I am serious. If I didn’t think I needed to re-visit this class, the first few minutes have illuminated the benefits I will receive if I stay tuned.

And now to the juicy content of these classes! YAY!

25 minutes into the 1st class, I doze off. Not because I am bored, but if I am just sitting there and listening, I fall asleep to the spoken word – unless I don’t like the voice – then I just turn it off. (I would have been diagnosed with narcolepsy in the 1930’s when we all listened to radio.)  I wake with a start when my Relevance Super-power detects something my conscious needs to hear.

 

 

to be continued . . . .

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